The ruin of marriage


I haven’t blogged on Mike Mason for some time.  In fact, I’m not really blogging on him today as I think this quotation from the best book I’ve ever read on marriage stands for itself.

There is an important difference, however, between those who hang on and those who run away, between the marriages that last and are good, and the ones that either break up or else drag on in a state of unresolved tension and neurosis.  Both must endure ruin, but the difference lies in the place in which this ruin is experienced.  For in those who run away from the intense fire of marriage, the ruin happens in the place in them that is love, and this place, this glorious and mysterious and delicate capacity in them, really does receive a terrible wound, sometimes enough to impair it for life.  But in the case of those who hang on to love and see it through to its mortal finish, the ruin that occurs, the internal debacle, is not in the place of love (although it may often seem to be happening there), but rather in the place, in the palace, of the ego.  And that makes all the difference in the world.  It is one thing to wreck the ego.  But it is quite another, and indeed the very opposite, to make shipwreck of the soul.

Mike Mason, The Mystery of Marriage.

If you’ve not read it, go and buy it.  Seriously.

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