Tagged with Presence

You were in this place

You were in this place

You’d gone ahead.  Lit the lamps.  Again.  Made yourself at home.  And you were waiting. You were in this place and I didn’t know. In the second that my car passed the frontage of the property before turning in, I felt it.  That frisson of nerves.  Because of your proximity. Not that I even know … Continue reading

Misunderstood

Misunderstood

Being misunderstood is a corollary of the prophetic. Those weren’t that friend’s exact words.  But they’re close enough.  And, oh, how I hate being misunderstood.  My heart thrives on being known, on living from a place of openness.  Yet, lately, it’s been different. Ever since Jesus’ words last year, those ones about presence to him … Continue reading

The in-between

The in-between

Liminality. The in-between.  An ambiguous space where what was is gone and what will be is not yet.  The ‘middle stage’ of rituals: the participant’s pre-ritual status or way of structuring their identity is obliterated yet they have not yet transitioned to the status or identity which the ritual will bestow upon them. It began in the emptiness of … Continue reading

So pants my soul for you

So pants my soul for you

This post may need a contextual setting.  Elements of it were born in our chapel service on Tuesday this week, a deep musical reflection on Psalms 42-43.  I’d wanted to escape the room because I don’t love performed worship where I can’t sing too.  Whatever else my spirituality may be, there’s a healthy dose of charismatic … Continue reading

Just dancing

Just dancing

Teresa of Avila’s cell (photo credit) Dancing.  Just dancing. The question slammed into my heart with all the finesse of a well-aimed wrecking ball.  Over a double-shot flat white in a trendy place near Kings Cross, a friend asked me why I was dancing between the place of hiddenness and the place of presence to people.  Why … Continue reading

A grace wilder and more violent

A grace wilder and more violent

This is a wilder grace, and one more violent.  Over the last three months, I have prayed the same prayer three or four times a week, each time on my handmade prayer stool.  I have asked God to help me submit willingly to what seems like barrenness, knowing that the grace of God first kills before it makes … Continue reading

My heart rests

My heart rests

I spent three days in my little office this week.  Well, four perhaps – if I count the hours in there after Saturday’s graduation service when the whole place was virtually deserted but for a few graduating students trailing home, cars crammed full of boxes and dreams, the remnants of student life packaged and tied … Continue reading

Hidden in the secret of his presence

Hidden in the secret of his presence

I’ve been reading in Simone Weil’s Waiting on God again.  It fascinates me how sometimes Jesus brings the same word through multiple sources.  Apparently unconnected, they build upon one another to reiterate the identical message.  Present to him first and, for now, to him only.  This time, though, the language is not of presence but of attending.  Attending … Continue reading

He tames my soul

He tames my soul

Listen to this from Simone Weil’s Waiting on God which describes so well a dynamic which I’ve noticed in me: The soul seeks nothing so much as contact…with God; but at the same time it flies from it.  When the soul flies from anything it is always trying to get away, either from the horror of ugliness, or … Continue reading