Tagged with Wild grace

The grace of God

The grace of God

The grace of God first kills before it makes alive. How many times I have wanted to write that in five years.  To agree with those words attributed to Tom Torrance by one of his doctoral students, Ray Anderson. And yet I have not.  Because of originality.  Because of other more pressing writing.  Because I … Continue reading

Grace of the real

Grace of the real

In his own time and way.  That’s his style. The real discloses itself, in its own time and way.  And when it does, it is grace. Esther Lightcap Meek, Loving to Know. I saw it again the other week, this disclosing of itself by the real.  Reality unfolded in act of grace.  A deadline I was working … Continue reading

Withstanding his wooing

Withstanding his wooing

You are to me the God who destroys.  You destroy with a conviction and a thoroughness quite breathtaking.  I said I wanted you and you took me at my word.  I said I wanted to risk wild grace, that grace which might first kill before it made alive, and you heard my prayer.  And as … Continue reading

Tears like hiccups

Tears like hiccups

Sometimes I reflect here on depression.  It’s part of my story, a bit like a virus that remains dormant most of the time but every so often comes out to play.  As I live, I learn more about how this thing called depression works.  I discover how I can live from a place in Christ and his … Continue reading

Barrenness

Barrenness

He hears your prayers.  There is something you’ve been praying for and which you have not received.  He wants you to know that you will receive. This word has come twice in the last four or five months from one person I know a little and one who was a stranger to me.  The second time … Continue reading

Destroying to remake

Destroying to remake

We don’t want to deconstruct our students, we said.  We know what theology can do to a person, turn them inside out and back to front. We don’t want to deconstruct our students.  But, oh, how I wish Jesus had such qualms with me.  Nearly two years of a deconstruction so massive that it is … Continue reading

Innocence with experience

Innocence with experience

She juggles, they say.  Always several balls in the air.  And she doesn’t seem to drop any. Not literally, of course.  This girl can’t juggle real balls to save her life. Not even metaphorically really.  Not any more.  Because things have changed.  The gift box she wrote about some fifteen months ago, it really has … Continue reading

A grace wilder and more violent

A grace wilder and more violent

This is a wilder grace, and one more violent.  Over the last three months, I have prayed the same prayer three or four times a week, each time on my handmade prayer stool.  I have asked God to help me submit willingly to what seems like barrenness, knowing that the grace of God first kills before it makes … Continue reading

A wild and violent grace

A wild and violent grace

Present to Jesus and to my self, absent to others.  That is what he has said again and again and again.  For six months.  And I have sought to obey him, not knowing why, other than this is what he said. In the last two weeks, I have begun to understand.  I have seen things … Continue reading