Sparkly diamanté flip-flops slapped against the road, driven along by a force I couldn’t overcome. And I looked on in almost-amusement as this part of me carried my body up the incline, under the still-blue sky. She was angry, this part of me. That would have been hard to miss, though she beamed a smile with … Continue reading
This is one in my series of sabbatical posts. I started this series in 2013-2014 and, now, the generosity of my employer means that I pick it up again. Technically, this time it is called study leave rather than sabbatical. But I don’t have a blog category for that. Holding the space for Jesus. That’s … Continue reading
Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to John, to be baptised by him. (Matthew 3:13) ‘It is time’, my son said. And my face fell. I had no words. I still don’t. Just memories, treasured up in my heart. Memories that now flood me so fast that I fear they will drown me. … Continue reading
Sometimes I reflect here on depression. It’s part of my story, a bit like a virus that remains dormant most of the time but every so often comes out to play. As I live, I learn more about how this thing called depression works. I discover how I can live from a place in Christ and his … Continue reading
A meditation on Matthew’s account of the resurrection. I was standing in the garden. In the shadows. They didn’t see me, those two dark silhouettes as they made their way under the trees. They were too afraid themselves, too concerned with how to pick their way unnoticed to the tomb. Bent low, almost folded in … Continue reading
Listen to this from Simone Weil’s Waiting on God which describes so well a dynamic which I’ve noticed in me: The soul seeks nothing so much as contact…with God; but at the same time it flies from it. When the soul flies from anything it is always trying to get away, either from the horror of ugliness, or … Continue reading
Present to him and to my self. Absent – for now – to people. That was what it was going to be. He’s said it clearly enough, after all. And he’s shown me how this thing, because it will overflow in time to others, is not inconsistent with the biggest theological treasure which I have … Continue reading
Photo credit Present to God and present to my self, then only out of that to be present to others. That’s what I came away with at the end of my retreat. In a week which was all about an inner work he was doing in my very being, I saw this more clearly than … Continue reading
true Christian worship is dangerous, far more a risk than a consolation, because true Christian worship initiates us into the stories and practices of a God whose ways are so maddeningly different from our own and, therefore, full of hope. …True worship is risky because through it we become increasingly vulnerable to the love and … Continue reading
I wonder if you have any idea of how profoundly, how brightly, you bring Jesus. That was all she said. Well, actually, all she wrote – since we were still in silence at the time. It touched me so much then and has continued to come back to me since. I think it is so … Continue reading
The Art of Steering 