Dislocated, soul from body. It’s what I said this week. My soul has become dislocated from my body. It has no place to stand, to be. And so it flutters, endlessly. Like butterfly, alighting only briefly before airborne again. My soul has become dislocated from my body. For my body moved. Only twenty miles or … Continue reading
Something beyond boundaries, she said. And as she said it, I both knew and didn’t quite know what she meant. I need something beyond boundaries when I am tempted to rescue the person there in front of me. I need ‘them’ and I need ‘me’. Them and me. You and I. With those words, she … Continue reading
Compass needle swings. Erratically seeking its North. Heart ricochets from here to there and back again. Searching, still searching: desperately longing. Pitch is sounded. Ears wide open. Waiting, only waiting for that note which is soul’s resonance and song. And for days in weeks and months in years, needle yet swings whilst also pitch is … Continue reading
I played my cards, I said. She knew what I meant. I’d used that worldly-wise part of me. That part which knows when you’re playing games. That part which ill-tolerates being taken for a fool. I’d smiled the sweetest of smiles and I’d countered his check with a checkmate. I’d enjoyed playing my cards too, truth … Continue reading
Dismantle all my defences, Lord. This, the cry of my heart. Dismantle them, one by one. All that holds me back from deeper union with you. Too long what is most true of me has been hidden, defended. And though I seek now to remove the fences, to let you see what you have always … Continue reading
Since you are not yet able to see God, let your vocation be found in desiring. The whole life of the good Christian is holy yearning. You long for what you do not yet see, but by longing you are made spacious in order that when he who you are to see comes, you may … Continue reading
I’ve been reading in Simone Weil’s Waiting on God again. It fascinates me how sometimes Jesus brings the same word through multiple sources. Apparently unconnected, they build upon one another to reiterate the identical message. Present to him first and, for now, to him only. This time, though, the language is not of presence but of attending. Attending … Continue reading
Listen to this from Simone Weil’s Waiting on God which describes so well a dynamic which I’ve noticed in me: The soul seeks nothing so much as contact…with God; but at the same time it flies from it. When the soul flies from anything it is always trying to get away, either from the horror of ugliness, or … Continue reading
Present to him and to my self. Absent – for now – to people. That was what it was going to be. He’s said it clearly enough, after all. And he’s shown me how this thing, because it will overflow in time to others, is not inconsistent with the biggest theological treasure which I have … Continue reading
I see a little girl, dwarfed by the gift box which she is carrying. Barely able to get her arms around enough of it that she will not drop it. Unable to see round the corners of this trust which she is holding so tightly, and staggering slightly as she embraces its enormity. That little girl is … Continue reading
The Art of Steering 