Tagged with Spirituality

Lament born of hope

Lament born of hope

Lost. The one word that shows up again and again in my journal in this season. I’m lost.  The old knowing of the path is gone.  I cannot see what I once could see.  I don’t know where I am going this side of heaven.  Or even what, quite, is the point.  I am lost … Continue reading

The way of tears and fire

The way of tears and fire

In the way of tears, we become prayer; we no longer labour under the illusion of prayer as technology…  We do not pray; we are prayed. Maggie Ross, The Fountain and the Furnace: The Way of Tears and Fire. The tears poured down my face yesterday.  Cycling for hours.  Albeit with an unexpected break at lunchtime.  … Continue reading

Is it still silence?

Is it still silence?

Is it still silence, Lord, this stance you’d have me hold? Must I watch but, once again, not speak?  Must words burn in a heart that must hold them in? I heard your promise.  I’ve lived entwined about it.  Declared it without restraint. But, year upon year, darkness weaves itself deeper still.  Between evil and … Continue reading

The should, the good and the joy

The should, the good and the joy

My Yes means Nos.  To be this, I cannot be that.  To be me, I cannot be you. And as my unique offering becomes ever clearer, the battle becomes ever stronger.  Unhealed parts of me yell loudly about obligation.  Other Christians wonder how I can keep saying the Nos they don’t want me to say.  … Continue reading

Bright, this dark night

Bright, this dark night

On the shores we stood there.  Fresh from the land of Egypt.  The desert behind us.  Yam Suph in front.  And, in-between, what? That night was a dark night and a bright night.  This was the long way round.  For God said that were we to face the Philistines straightaway, we might go back.  So, … Continue reading

Three things

Three things

…the good hand of his God was on him.  For Ezra had set his heart to study the Law of the Lord, and to do it and to teach his statutes and rules in Israel. Ezra 7:10 Three things.  Three things that characterised Ezra’s favour with God.  Three things around which his life was centred. Study of … Continue reading

Already there, in the place behind the veil

Already there, in the place behind the veil

He was in the summerhouse, waiting.  And, trembling, my body knew it before ever I got inside. Waiting there for me, in the place behind the veil.  And there obscured from garden view, veil meant not seeing him until I’d entered.  He, on other hand, watched me walk every step of that well-worn path. Waiting … Continue reading

The future is now

The future is now

So, the future is now? It echoes round my mind, the question she asked.  Although, knowing her, I suspect it was more likely gentle statement. It echoes because I heard him the first time. I heard him say how it would be and what it would mean.  I heard him invite me to live in … Continue reading

Strop in diamanté

Strop in diamanté

Sparkly diamanté flip-flops slapped against the road, driven along by a force I couldn’t overcome.  And I looked on in almost-amusement as this part of me carried my body up the incline, under the still-blue sky. She was angry, this part of me.  That would have been hard to miss, though she beamed a smile with … Continue reading

Words escape me

Words escape me

Words escape me. And I feel the shame of it.  For how can I pray without words?   Words escape me. And I feel the surprise of it.  For words are my tool. Words escape me.  And I realise that it has been this way for some time.  Prayer like walking up the steepest of hills, … Continue reading