My beads came with me to the abbey. And, yes, that would be the abbey we feared being thrown out of for being too noisy. The same abbey where I chewed repeatedly over the ethic of climbing out after Compline to go to the pub. I didn’t have to. Climb out, that is. And, despite … Continue reading
The beads ground me. Round and round their thread I go. One by one they slide through fingers. Polished smooth, though not yet by use. Cross in hand, each bead a prayer. The knots my selah reminder to breathe, to wait. Then bead to ask that he would speak. More knots, more breathing, more stilling: a waiting … Continue reading
My brain had never been so occupied so insistently by so many different subjects and in so public a way for so long. Andrew Sullivan, ‘I Used to Be a Human Being’. I have an iPhone 4S. Five years ago this was not a bad thing to have. Today it draws pitying glances, as friends wonder … Continue reading
The water is cold this morning. And after a night on the boat, a night when we caught nothing, I am hungry and I am ready to give up. I thought it would be a good idea, going back out there. It’s not as if there is anything else to do any more. But he … Continue reading
We need to be teaching church leaders about self-care, he said. And part of me was like, well, duh! Because I thought he was stating the obvious. And I think that, because of how I have postured my teaching on leadership, my students would have thought the same. Except then I realised that perhaps it wasn’t … Continue reading
Silence birthed a new level of authority I see, she said. She was talking about the preaching, not the thing that happened the week later. That thing hadn’t happened yet. And, to be honest, I thought little more of it, that thing she said. She will smile at this, I know. Because she knew then … Continue reading
Silently, silently this gift has come. And suddenly in the space of two years I find myself with an authority which I would never have believed. The sowing of my twenties, seed into darkness underground, waiting, waiting, waiting. And now death into life, barrenness into fruitfulness, silence into words of weightiness. I never sought it, … Continue reading
Is planned neglect the sin that others want me to think it is? In the midst of my blogging on the power of the well-discerned No, I am noticing some fascinating dynamics. As I wrestle deeply, I realise that there are contexts where institutions draw no boundaries on their demands upon the roles within them. … Continue reading
This reflection comes from conversation in a time of prayer and three other conversations, all of which happened across two days. The topic comes up fairly often, for a number of reasons related to the sheer demands upon my time and the unusual firmness with which I articulate myself on this matter. For others, it … Continue reading
Sometimes the longing for more obscures the gift of the moment. I’ve seen it again today, as I swam length after length of that almost-empty pool. For there is something I have wanted, waited for. It has been a long time. And I believe God will give it but he has not yet. I remembered … Continue reading
