The grace to roar

The grace to roar

Silently, silently this gift has come.  And suddenly in the space of two years I find myself with an authority which I would never have believed.  The sowing of my twenties, seed into darkness underground, waiting, waiting, waiting.  And now death into life, barrenness into fruitfulness, silence into words of weightiness. I never sought it, … Continue reading

Becoming an obstreperous old woman

Becoming an obstreperous old woman

Is planned neglect the sin that others want me to think it is? In the midst of my blogging on the power of the well-discerned No, I am noticing some fascinating dynamics.  As I wrestle deeply, I realise that there are contexts where institutions draw no boundaries on their demands upon the roles within them.  … Continue reading

Wrestling with No for the sake of Yes

Wrestling with No for the sake of Yes

This reflection comes from conversation in a time of prayer and three other conversations, all of which happened across two days.  The topic comes up fairly often, for a number of reasons related to the sheer demands upon my time and the unusual firmness with which I articulate myself on this matter.  For others, it … Continue reading

Figs in due season

Figs in due season

Sometimes the longing for more obscures the gift of the moment.  I’ve seen it again today, as I swam length after length of that almost-empty pool.  For there is something I have wanted, waited for.  It has been a long time.  And I believe God will give it but he has not yet. I remembered … Continue reading

Authority as Kingdom promise?

Authority as Kingdom promise?

Power and authority fill my thoughts, in part because I struggle with authority. I struggle with authority, even as I accept it as a sociological reality and, I think, a theological one.  I struggle because I affirm the equality of all believers.  And, so, rarely will you catch me talking about authority over.  More often, … Continue reading

Wearing your power well

Wearing your power well

The topic I most dreaded teaching has become one of my favourites.  And, let me say: when the books seem to be few, and mostly in an area of theology into which you rarely venture, that dread is very real.  So, like all good lecturers, I avoided it for my first year of teaching. Maybe … Continue reading

Joyful submission

Joyful submission

I’ve spent a long time in leadership.  But, right now, in my two major contexts I have no leadership position.  Leadership is more than this, of course, as my class now knows well after two weeks of lectures with me.  For leadership is process and person, perhaps even before it is position.  And though I … Continue reading

Those eyes, that face, that gaze

Those eyes, that face, that gaze

He saw me as I was standing there.  In the shaded part of the house.  The sun was blistering, the bluest of skies and a Mediterranean heat which shimmered.  So dry that the dust was everywhere kicked up, the floors a carpet of the finest of sand grains. I pressed myself against the wall so … Continue reading

Imagination prepared

Imagination prepared

The silence prepares the imagination to receive an incredible truth. Eugene Peterson, Reversed Thunder. Ten months since the viva.  Ten months of mostly silence.  And more preparing than receiving. The incredible truth has yet to be given. Don’t misunderstand.  There have been great joys.  The red gown and prophesying of the thing burning to be … Continue reading