You were in this place

You were in this place

You’d gone ahead.  Lit the lamps.  Again.  Made yourself at home.  And you were waiting. You were in this place and I didn’t know. In the second that my car passed the frontage of the property before turning in, I felt it.  That frisson of nerves.  Because of your proximity. Not that I even know … Continue reading

Remembering again

Remembering again

In some ways, to expect only gradual change may be all too easy a way of letting ourselves off the hook. Susan B. Williams and Peter R. Holmes, Meeting Jesus Together: Introducing Salugenic Community How is it that, despite knowing his ways, I am still surprised by discontinuous change?  Too often I tell myself to expect … Continue reading

Beloved

Beloved

Define yourself radically as one beloved by God.  This is the true self.  Every other identity is illusion. Brennan Manning, Abba’s Child Simple, really.  Though I make it so hard.  Yes, if you were to listen to the chunter of my heart, you would think he was impressed by everything that I’m not yet, perhaps even never will … Continue reading

It is time

It is time

It is time for silence to do its work. I knew that it would be so.  That for too many months I have been running at a pace which would be arrested by only one thing.  And so I planned it, weeks ago, when I knew that this moment would come.  Two days and two nights … Continue reading

Wilderness shut-in

Wilderness shut-in

It caught me unawares as the Scripture sometimes does.  Wilderness, perhaps, the word which snagged on the edges of my consciousness.  Or shut them in.  For I have felt like that too. But I was not expecting to be caught on this verse of Exodus 14.  No, I was running ahead to the verse about the LORD fighting.  Only … Continue reading

The rope has been cut

The rope has been cut

The rope has been cut. Without great fanfare, the boat drifts from the pier.  No outboard motor.  No sail.  Just the pull of the currents, the eddying water. No one there to wave the boat off.  No one to journey through.  Just the boat and its occupants.  So much left behind in this wager, a wager which might … Continue reading

Impossible hope

Impossible hope

Sometimes someone else’s words capture the very thing you have been trying to say: The dreaming of impossible things in the Lord is the act of hope.  The act of hope does not ignore the chaos within and without, nor is it a dream for everything to be returned to the secure ways of the … Continue reading

Withstanding his wooing

Withstanding his wooing

You are to me the God who destroys.  You destroy with a conviction and a thoroughness quite breathtaking.  I said I wanted you and you took me at my word.  I said I wanted to risk wild grace, that grace which might first kill before it made alive, and you heard my prayer.  And as … Continue reading

Tears like hiccups

Tears like hiccups

Sometimes I reflect here on depression.  It’s part of my story, a bit like a virus that remains dormant most of the time but every so often comes out to play.  As I live, I learn more about how this thing called depression works.  I discover how I can live from a place in Christ and his … Continue reading

Leading in disrupted space

Leading in disrupted space

I know more than I’d like about liminality.  Both in personal life and wider contexts of ministry.  And it shapes my perspectives on leadership.  Nothing is as simple as Newtonian models of leadership imply.  Listen to this: …liminal leadership spends a significant amount of time in disrupted space…Liminal leaders…create a lightly held holding place for the … Continue reading